Archive for August, 2009

Special Exhibit: FNN Talking Heads

Posted on August 15, 2009. Filed under: Media, Politics | Tags: , , , , , |

I can’t believe that Fox News Network actually has the balls to call itself “Fair and Balanced.”  If you watch it for even an hour, you might actually be able to feel your brains melting and dribbling out your ears.

Just look at the douchebaggery that’s committed DAILY by the talking heads highlighted on the network.  We’ve got the big four: Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, and Ann Coulter.  They’re all insane, they’re all assholes, and they’re all out to brainwash America into happy little republicans, something akin to the students from The Wall.

All we’re missing is the meat grinder to throw their asses in.

Bill O’Reilly used to be my personal antichrist.  He’s a boorish, obnoxious, self-absorbed, and condescending prick.  He regularly tells people that disagree with him on his show to shut up, and calls people who speak out against the republican party “unamerican.”  Although he is a douche, the other three definitely top him.  He’s petered out in evil in my own perspective, and now makes me think of that slightly off-putting, aging uncle, that you sit quietly near until he talks himself out, holding his glass of milk and sleep aids at the ready.

Sean Hannity, on the other hand is a complete nazi bigot who, if he can ever get his dick out of the republican elephant’s ass and learn to rub one out himself, will still undoubtedly be a complete prick with only vitriol to spew out at the rest of the world.  This is the same guy that told democrats to stay home on voting day, because their vote shouldn’t count anyway.  The same guy that cuts and pastes however the hell he wants so that anyone he doesn’t like can end up looking like the satanic love child of Bin Laden and a goat.  The same guy who has an “all american panel,” where different voices can be heard, and lines it up with himself, Ann Coulter, and a couple of the most conservative, hypocritical democrats who could possibly find.  He’s a twit, he’s a jackoff, and he’s a joke.

On a related note, did anyone else notice Hannity’s “Colmesectomy”?  It’s hardly surprising.  But let’s examine Hannity and Colmes as a duo for a second shall we?  On the one hand, we have Sean Hannity—and admittedly doublespeaking, myopic imbecile, but one that has some charm, in that “evil always comes in pretty packages” sense, and isn’t absolutely unbearable to look at, as long as you know nothing about him.  In the red corner, ladies and gentlemen, we have the most incurably co-dependent, doormat of a democrat.  Alan Colmes has no personality to speak of, utterly lacks conviction of any kind,  and kinda looks like a ferret.  This is how they assume to create a fair and balanced debate show?  I DON’T think so.

Also, speaking of the “All American Panel,” let’s discuss for a moment Ann Coulter, hereafter known as Frigid Nazi Cow (or FNC).  FNC does lots for Sean Hannity.  She’s on his show in a bunch of different ways, as a commenter, a panelist, who knows, she might even have developed a taste for elephant dung after the many blowjobs backstage.  She’s a blonde bombshell, if horses could be spoken of in such a manor.  I guess if you’re pretty enough, you might be forgiven for being a complete idiot.  She writes, too.  My favorite is “If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans.”  Really, Ann?  So, it takes brains to mindlessly follow a party that has, time and again, actively destroyed our country and others in the campaign for democracy and “The American Dream” does it?  Boy, I really have been barking up the wrong tree with my individual thoughts and ideologies.  You certainly set me straight.

Moving on to the next specimen, we have before us one Glenn Beck.  First of all, just from an aesthetic point of view, his t.v. show makes me want to puke.  It’s so rehearsed, and yet still so poorly executed, it actually causes me physical pain to listen to his faux emotional outbursts.  You could get better acting at third grade play.  In a special needs school.  With low funding.  Besides his lack of Hollywood luster, he’s also just a complete psycho moron.  He speaks fondly of the good old days, before stimulus and bailouts, before health care reform, before Obama.  Did he really forget that the stimulus and bailout started with the LAST president?  You know, the republican?  The psychotic war criminal that not only completely wiped out the biggest surplus in the nation’s history, but spiraled us into TRILLIONS of dollars of debt in EIGHT YEARS?  As for healthcare….are you really going to try to kid us into thinking you’re a regular working stiff that this bill is going to effect IN THE LEAST?  Are you really so malignantly self-serving that you would deny the fact that something is needed for someone OTHER THAN YOU?  Add on the fact that he will tell anyone who listens that Obama is a racist with a deep-seeded hatred for white people and white culture, then go completely against it and say that he’s not actually saying that Obama dislikes white people when something as silly as facts is thrown in his face.  God help him if he can go without contradicting himself for more than a minute and a half.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just the republicans that grate my nerves.  I can’t stand the liberal extremists either.  It’s just that these four are so visible, and are practically begging to be called out.  Leave it to Fox News Network to hand pick the biggest pricks and paint them as the faces of the republican party.

Fair and Balanced my ass.  Someone buy the producers a dictionary.

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political snarkiness

Posted on August 13, 2009. Filed under: Politics | Tags: , , , |

Alright, so, here’s the deal.  Politics is a nasty, nasty subject to deal with, and this is mostly because the asshole, asinine, bipartisan hacks that flood the media have turned something that was already referred to as a circus into a complete free for all.

I am a democrat.  I am not a democrat because I’m in the right demographic, or the right age, or because it’s trendy and cool, or because I think all republicans are asshats (I only think that about some of them).  I’m a democrat because most of my ideas and personal opinions and ideologies swing slightly to the left.  It would probably be more responsible to call myself an independent.  Maybe for 2012.  The point is, I’m not a baby-killer, I’m not a bra-burner, I’m not an Obama-rama freaky groupie.  I’m me.  And I base the things that say and think and do on things that I have personally seen and experienced, not what people tell me I should be doing.  Because of this, some of the things I do and say and think come off as suspiciously right wing, to which I now add, get over it.

None of this has anything to do with my particular view, but is present only to serve as a disclaimer against any accusations about being against one party or other because of what else I have to say.

I’m not about to call someone unpatriotic or tell them to like everything about this country or get out.  This country was FOUNDED on dissent.  That’s why we have the bill of rights, so that we CAN disagree, so we can share different viewpoints, so we can discuss and maybe bring about change if change is what is needed.


To sit at home and bitch about how the world is going to hell and it’s the fault of everyone in Washington because they wouldn’t listen to YOU, and it’s the fault of everyone else sitting at home listening to the same stupid diatribes and likewise doing nothing, is just plain ridiculous.  People aren’t sheep due to apathy…they are apathetic due to a governmental system that has become more and more remote behind a facade of media mudslinging and spin alleys.  They aren’t wrong to not care.  They might be wrong to not notice why they don’t, but that’s beside the point.

If you’re not going to do anything to change the things that you feel need to be changed in any fucking way you want, be it campaigning yourself, working on a campaign for someone you agree with, staging rallies or protests, becoming a lobbyist, whatever, then don’t complain about it.  Don’t proclaim a personal war just to sit it out.  Step up or shut up, and stop wasting everyone’s time.

The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.
Albert Einstein

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Hello world!

Posted on August 13, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized |

My first post on my brand new blog that has absolutely nothing to fucking do with myspace.

Myspace is lame.  I don’t care who you are, unless you’re a band or musician getting some extra exposure, myspace is one of the biggest wastes of internet space out there.

This should be a clue as to what my blog is actually going to look like.  Lots of judgemental and opinionated bullshit.  I’m kinda like an Ann Coulter that actually uses facts.

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Why Sean Hannity must be shot.

Posted on August 12, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized |

I picked up Sean Hannity’s book, Let Freedom Ring at the library last week.  I didn’t get it because I think that his closed and politically neurotic mind could come up with anything worthwhile.  I got it because I believe that to really loathe something, you have to understand it.

Within the first 20 pages of his weird manifesto, I had direct quotes to prove that he is not only ridiculously stupid, but has no right to be providing a commentary about America to anyone, much less Americans.

Convservatives are, in his view, shining warriors of truth, defending freedom, justice, and the American dream, not just from international terrorists, but also from teh misguided, misinformed, and generally malproductive lefts.

The war against the savage network of terrorists is more important that any fight for civil rights, poverty, or education.

Terrorists are attacking us because we are everything that is right and good, and they hate us for it.

The Clinton/Gore administration is to blame for September 11th, because they were too focused on gays in the military and washing away their own crimes and sins.

This is just the first chapter.

God forbid we go against the conservative, Judeo-Christian American Dream and actually give two shits about what’s happening to the planet, not on it, and about people in our own damn country.

How much would the people in the Middle East hate us if we had not taken it upon ourselves to draw boundaries, encourage leaders, and train their militaries, all while attempting to prove our own superiority via our “democracy”?

Hannity also says that one part of our freedom is the right to a limited government…and that spy satellites, wire tapping, racial profiling and various other government encouraged or mandated programs that slowly annihalate the freedom of privacy is still somehow aiding in this cause.

Basically, it boils down to this: Americans have the freedom to live the American dream, with all the facade of the beautiful people living beautiful lives, but shouldn’t dare even pretend to care about the lives and thoughts of people who may have different ideas – different dreams – because then you become a threat to the American ideal.

When are people like this going to learn that ideals change…dreams change…the world changes. To stay steadfast in in one ideology, one outdated and outsourced point of view, and then having the arrogance to force it on the rest of the world will not only bring on the demise of the one’s thinking it, but everyone who they use it as a yard stick against.

Therefor, the best thing we can do is put a bullet through the brain of all the idiots who come up with this shit.

Get the picture….the dreaded “left wing liberals” are thinking about the people and the environment and the rights of these because….if they didn’t….who would?

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